I can't hear

Revelation 3:18-22

18 My advice is that you buy gold from me that has been purified by fire so that you may be rich, and white clothing to wear so that your nakedness won’t be shamefully exposed, and ointment to put on your eyes so that you may see. 19 I correct and discipline those whom I love. So be earnest and change your hearts and lives. 20 Look! I’m standing at the door and knocking. If any hear my voice and open the door, I will come in to be with them, and will have dinner with them, and they will have dinner with me. 21 As for those who emerge victorious, I will allow them to sit with me on my throne, just as I emerged victorious and sat down with my Father on his throne. 22 If you can hear, listen to what the Spirit is saying to the churches. ”

So, I know that I skipped this weekend, but I actually read the verses I was supposed, but I just didn't have the capacity to write about them. Finals week is upon me and in full force. I have a huge project due Tuesday and I seem to be dragging my feet about it. I start working a little bit, and then I can't work anymore. Part of that is because I've had a fairly emotionally charged weekend. I ask for your prayers for my grandfather, he went into the hospital last night with signs of heart attack and is having an angioplasty tomorrow morning. 

Tonight, I'm having a hard time focusing on this passage. I'm having a hard time distracting myself from the work I have to do and thinking about my grandpa. I'm drawn to the last vers, 'if you can hear, listen.' Some days, I can't hear, and I think today is one of them. I'm too cluttered with other things. In addition to finals and my sick grandpa, I have asked for clarity. I'm having a hard time distinguishing what I want from what God wants. I know that they can be one in the same, but how do you know when that happens? 

 I want to hear, I need God's answers, but I also recognize that I am not in a place to listen. I know that if I sit in prayer for a while I will either run through my to do list or fall asleep from exhaustion. So tonight, I will go to bed without answers, and hope that tomorrow I can hear.