pressure

Pressure

is this furthering my call?

is this what i want?

is this building up my relationship to God?

is this really worth the sacrifices i'm making?

When will these questions turn to answers?

will these choices ever get easier?

I am open to your voice

I need your strength 

I don't doubt you, I beg for your revelation

I need clarity

I need calm

I want more direction

I need you in this moment. 

library prayer

Witnesses,

from every time and place

to fill my head with knowledge.

Privilege,

filling libraries with books,

academia's finest description of you. 

Sitting 

amongst clattering computers

and the dreams of those before us.

For the history of witnesses,

for the dreams of those who could never have dreamed

For your presence with us all,

I give you thanks. 

stupid Min 404

God of our hearts,

you have called us each to engage in your world,

to better your kindom, 

to lead your people.

We have run from you,

denying your call,

adding in our own excuses. 

"I'm too young, I cannot speak, it is physically impossible"

You persevere through our hardened hearts, 

leading us back to you.

May your plans be revealed to us 

and may we have the strength and fortitude to accept them.

May our hearts and minds be open to receive your call.

May your spirit fill us with your purpose,

utilizing our gifts and individualities

to the betterment of our world.

  

2 prayers for 2 days

So, I'm really not disciplined enough for this. I don't think about it until it's too late to do it. Here is my prayer from this morning.

God of all creation,

your imagination is beyond human comprehension.

Sunrise and Sunset

colors bursting forth 

each day different. 

Each color scheme and cloud pattern is unique

beauty in simplicity.

Thank you for a world created good.

After a day at church, this is my prayer.

God you gave us the unifier of all 

the body of Christ,

a house that hold all people.

Lead us to your peace.

God I thank you for communities of your children

love that uniquely abounds,

across all our human divisions.

For the pondering of children, 

the quizitive mind of teenagers, 

and adult compassion

Prayers?!?!?!?!?!

 So here's the deal, my supervisor at my field site doesn't think I pray enough (which is probably true). So as her assignment for me, and because I am essentially at her mercy, she has told me to write a prayer for each day. It doesn't have to be anything fancy or super special, but a prayer for each day. 

Since I think best while typing (let's be honest, who writes things down anymore?) I thought these prayer would be best kept through a blog. I may explain some of my prayers, I may not, but my hope is that my life and daily thought processes will be revealed through my prayers. So here's todays

Omniscient God, Eternal Parent to us all,

I pray for all who have children. 

Loving a child can be difficult,

they are not hard to love,

but loving them is a true sacrifice of self.

Be with all of those who struggle with their children,

whether they are atheists, addicts or just agitating

be with those who love them.

I ask that those with children be given wisdom,

knowledge, strength, and an open heart and mind.

Loving God, release their anxiety

 and help them trust in you.

Allow their children to learn safely,

pressing boundaries without destroying lives. 

We leave our children in your hands O God.

Amen 

where I see community

This past weekend I went on a high school retreat modeled after the Great Banquet. It is called the Awakening. On this retreat I learned a lot about kids and how they process things, especially God. I was overwhelmed by two things. First, my church brought 9 kids and had 2 kids that were on the team for this retreat which was an hour and half away from their home. On Saturday night we had 12 or 13 members of our church come out to support these young people. Most of these adults did not have children participating in the event, or even old enough to go, but they drove 3 hours to support these young people on their journeys. That is the kind of church I believe in, that is the encouragement and love of Christ. 

Secondly, I was moved by how these kids related to each other. When you put a group of teenagers together there is not telling what could happen. In a group of 50 high schoolers, kids were able to leave saying that this is where they feel included and loved for who they are. Yes, there were some tables where kids would section themselves off in pairs, but they found someone to relate to and belong with. This was very powerful, this is the Church, doing it's job. The Church should be the place where all kids are welcomed, despite their differences or oddities. 

So after this awesome Church experience where my faith in humanity is restored, I saw it again while voting. While democracy in action can be moving, this was a special case. A woman was waiting in line to vote and she had a small child with her, probably 2 or 3 months old. The child was in a stroller, but had started to get fussy. The mother started to put on her wrap to put the baby in it and the two women behind her helped her put it over her head and adjust it. (I presume that these women did not know each other). Then as the baby continued to cry, the four people in front of the mother, let her go before them. It literally brought tears to my eyes, to see people act so kindly to each other for no apparent reason. 

Then I get on Facebook yesterday and last night as the election results are in and everyone had something to say about it. Which I truly believe is positive, however, some of it was disheartening. This is my prayer for today:

God of all people,

Help us O God to remember that you govern our hearts,

you have already sent a leader to guide us,

your will for our lives is already within us.

Open our eyes to those around us. 

Let us see each other as your people, 

not political parties, or of a specific race, gender or orientation

Help us see the humanity in one another.

Lead us, as a country, as a world, as your kindom.

Lead us to where you want us to be,

guiding us in the paths of righteousness and truth. 

I ask all these things in the name of our risen Christ.

Amen